When is enough, enough?

[mwingate]

If a parent has been steering his son or daughter to play basketball for the purposes of a scholarship since they were in grade school but he/she doesn't seem to have a passion for it, at what age should the parent stop steering? Junior HS, High School or before?

What if the kid is 6'11" and not feeling basketball. Do you steer him in the direction of a trying to get a scholarship even if basketball isn't his passion but because his height is a commodity.

Your Thoughts?

 

[psalguy]

Parents should put aside $25 a week in a College Club account in a low yield 2.5% CD. If you work for the City of New York, that comes directly out of your payroll check. It is an 18 year investment and when your kid turns 18, you get $21,600 and tack on the 2.5% interest and that gives you another few hundred. You can double that at some point if the kid really seems like he is college-bound. Well, I know someone is asking what if you don't have a job and you are banking on basketball for your kid to get to college and one day take care of you with a pro ball career? Well. I'm not going there. Too many people out there like that.

If the kid is 6'11 and doesn't want to play basketball as a parent, I would really be upset with my son. I would however back off if he said he didn't want to play and hold him accountable. He would have to have a plan to work and get out of my house because I am not feeding an clothing a 7 foot kid with big and tall man store gear when he can make a sacrifice and take care of himself. My plea to him would be "do you think I feel like getting cursed out by some teenager and his stupid ass mother, grading papers on a Saturday night, and getting up at 5:00AM to come to a 1st period class with 4 kids? No but I do it so you can have the Real Frosted flakes, Nathan's franks, Nikes, cable, video games and long ass tall f%^&$ TRue Religion pants? I do what I have to do!" If that doesn't work, I really can't say. I would resort to verbal abuse I really ain't gone even lie.

"you big tall professional light bulb changer. What are you going to do for a living without basketball? You 6'11! you gone be a park ranger and look for lost kids over the trees? You gone stand in the harbor and waive ships in with flashlights? Oh no I get it, you are going to sit on bear mountain and soak your feet in the lake after tending to baby eagles in eagle nests"!

Im not that strong of a parent. If my kid got accepted to Harvard, Furman, Brown and Princeton on scholarship and he wanted to go to Hostos to chill with his girl, I would lose it the same way.

 

[psalguy]

I had a good night sleep and woke up this morning and my son left dishes in the sink. He had a 7:00AM study group so he left at 6:00AM. Long story short, 3 eggs, 3 waffles and a 2 beef sausages and a half of a container of Tropicana...Last night a quarter of a pan of lasagna and 4 bottles of spring water. Leaves me a note he's"staying in Brooklyn tonight". THANK YOU! He's not 5'11 but if he was 6'11, That food intake would be doubled or tripled.

Kids do not know what is good for them at 18-21 years old. there is no doubt in my mind that I would push my son to make a sacrifice for 4 years at minimum for his future and he would have no choice. Too many times we condone this pluralistic freedom for our kids that has life altering consequences in their adult lives. If that meant me being Joe Jackson for 4 years, then thats what it would be. At one point in time, this kid would grow up and wish he took basketball more seriously when he is 7 feet stuffed into a train MTA train conductor booth with a bad back, with his knees sticking out of the window in the best case scenario.

Yeah. I'd make him play. Even if it meant hiring outside help and the use of force.

 

[TopDawg7]

I think if a kid doesn't want to play basketball to make it in life a parent should not force him to. Parents can introduce him to different things and if one of them is basketball and it takes, great but a 6'11" kid can also make it with his brain by getting an academic scholarship. There are plenty of tall people who are not basketball players. He can also play volleyball as a sport. Its his life not the parent's. The world doesn't revolve around basketball in order to become successful in life and to get a free education. Height is an asset in this society but so is intellect.

 

[psalguy]

at 6'11? you are too idealistic. Being too tall is the same as being too obese. Did you see that guy get kicked off the plane last week? A friend of mine just informed me that he would be too tall for Transit and most city jobs. Where is the money going to come from for custom made clothes?

All part of what I said about us as adults raising cream puffs and kids who will live with us forever. He would be doing 4 years and after that getting a job at the career of whatever he will chose but 4 years is minimum.

This post was edited on 11/19 8:40 PM by psalguy

 

[TopDawg7]

Being too tall is NOT the same as being too obese. Not even close. Being too obese is a serious health risk. Obesity is also something that can be corrected with proper diet and exercise.

A 6'11" kid can get an academic scholarship. 6'11" doesn't mean unintelligent and it doesn't mean that basketball is his only out. If he becomes a lawyer, doctor, corporate exec he can also afford custom made clothes. The issues with being too tall when younger won't be solved financially in high school or college cuz he ain't getting paid anyway.

If a kid really doesn't want to do something he probably won't excel at it anyway so at the end of the day what do you have? A tall kid who's behind the curve because he wasn't focusing on what he ultimately wants to do in life until its too late

As a parent, I'd want my son or daughter to do what they do best and optimize their abilities to be successful in life. Tall is not an ability and basketball is not the end all be all if you're tall unless you're a narrow minded individual.

I'm not idealistic. I'm realistic.


This post was edited on 11/21 1:53 PM by TopDawg7

 

[HarlemPantherPride]

I would push my son in basketball if he didn't have the passion if I believed it would be turn into a college scholarship. free school is free school. I would him or her just as much to get an academic scholarship and the reality is the percentage is even less that have opportunity to do so.

 

[psalguy]

Free education on a college scholarship for athletics is worth $200,000.00.

Harlem dudes think alike.

 

[TopDawg7]

That's why a larger percentage of urban kids pushed by their parents don't get scholarships and a large percentage of the ones that get basketball scholarships don't graduate. Kids chasing their parents dream and "thinking alike.".

 

[HarlemPantherPride]

Chasing a Parent's dream? Where did you get that from Top Dawg? The " What rich daddies teach their sons" book thats been selling off the shelves. Just so you know my son wouldn't be chasing my dream because I played collegiate basketball on a high level as well as the fact it would be about school. Would kids be chasing the dreams of parents if they were pushed to be academic scholars and weren't interested in school work.

Top Dawg so as parents we are supposed to allow our kids to choose their own path from toddlers huh? if they drop out of school its ok because we don't want them to chase our dreams, if they hang on the corner smoke weed and be in a gang, don't worry cause they are chasing their own dreams. We as parents are to guide our children's actions and aspirations as best as possible. As a parent you pass on your personal experiences to your children and character traits.

 

[TopDawg7]

Point taken. As parents we pass along personal experiences. I get that. I could understand a parent or parents that went the path of an athletic scholarship guiding their sons to the same path of potential success but what of the parents that didn't get an athletic scholarship. Many parents never even went to college. My question would be, what personal experiences are they drawing from? Why not strive for an academic scholarship or a scholarship in in something else. Why not see what the kid excels in and point him in that direction instead of basketball. I see parents of 5'6" kids thinking a D one scholarship in basketball is the most logical and realistic choice. Really? 5'6"?

I've seen some kids were steered in the direction of basketball who could've gotten a scholarship in volleyball or kids who were steered in the direction of football who could've gotten a scholarship in lacrosse.

What about the parents who are like D one scholarship or nothing for their kids. I thought it was about a free education?

 

[psalguy]

The original arguement is if the kid is 6'11.

this guy doesn't have any kids. Pride you know and I know because we are fathers of sons in college and we are paying cash for that. this dude might not even be a pet owner.

 

[TopDawg7]

There was no argument unless you are arguing with yourself. I am having a discussion.

If my son were 6'11" and had an aptitude and a love for volleyball, I'd rather him pursue volleyball for a scholarship rather than be miserable playing basketball if it wasn't his thing. If he had an aptitude for math, science or whatever and could get a scholarship going in that path, I'm cool with that too.

My sons, one who received an academic scholarship and the other who decided to pursue a trade, and dog would take offense with your assertion that I don't have any kids or pets. Speak for yourself because that is really the only person you actually know.

I've learned that college is not necessarily the end all be all. The one who went to trade school is also do quite well.

You only have one life. I say enjoy as much of as you can and that include when and if you go to college.

 

[dahoodrecruiter79]

5"6 has nothing to do with being able to play d1 man smh

 

[HarlemPantherPride]

Top Dawg I think psalguy is talking the original argument that wingate put up

 

[TopDawg7]

The original post asked for peoples thoughts which I gave. I'm not arguing with anyone just giving my thoughts like everyone. Psalguy likes to make it an argument which is confrontational by commenting on me by saying I must not have kids because I don't see things his way instead of just giving his thoughts while respecting everybody elses like every one else. The problem is that it takes two to argue which is why I said unless he's arguing with himself, there is no argument, just thoughts.

To dahood: I never said that a 5'6 kid cannot play d1 just like a 6'11 kid doesn't have to play basketball. To each his own.

 

[HarlemPantherPride]

TOP DAWG once you respond to someone's post and not give your original thought then you have instigated and argument whether it is out of malice or benevolence it is still and argument. i.e. your comment about "thinking alike" after psalguy posted "harlem dudes thinking alike" or "about kids chasing their parents dreams" in response to my post. If you were just giving your thoughts then no reference should have been made to either posts so then there wouldn't be a rebuttal.

Also, re-read your post about parents with 5'6 kids.

 

[TopDawg7]

I think the "argument" as you put it began when I was accused of being "too idealistic" when I gave my "original thought". It all went downhill from there. as his comment was the instigator. I prefer to think of an exchange of thoughts and opinions as a discussion To me, arguments aren't about enlightenment but more about trying to win. Like I said earlier, I enjoy discussions and let others argue with themselves like a dog chasing its tail.

Hope you had a good turkey day btw.